Praise the Lord that I'm Alive

Just throw that money in the skyyyyyyyyyyy.


Or not. But the first part of the statement still holds. I'm very thankful for Mr. Dinosaur for always serving and loving me but moreso during my birthday :) And to my rents and bro-bro for loving me in their special and unique ways :) I love the crazy family dinners, the surprises, the color-changing trees in Fresno, the crisp November weather, the SOVERYAWESOME people.

First, we were driving Joshua Gok, JWOW hereafter, to the Union Station and there was MAD traffic. But after arriving four minutes before departure JWOW texts me saying he just caught the train. PTL. And thanks to Google Mobile, Mr. Dinosaur and I found Little Tokyo where we purchases some mini melon bread and ate at a nice quaint ramen shop before heading up to the Fres. Life is so good.

We went for a walk and the weather was SONICE and the trees were BEAUTIFUL. God's canvas fo. sho.

My family let me go the the Cheesecake Factory. Ranch House Burger Medium Rare loveliness. And can't forget the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. <3

The drive home wasn't so bad (especially since I wasn't the one driving!). Haha...but yes very thankful for transportation that allows me to travel between two worlds.

More to come? Youknowit. Payce.

I Wish I Had Known Earlier

I stumbled upon a set of questions relating to "church-hopping". Thought it would be interesting to those who have recently left or are thinking about leaving their church/fellowship/ministry. It seems to be the trend recently...sadly... hm...  But here they are, from the ReSurgence weblog.

Ask good questions before you leave your church.

Dr. Allison loves the local church, and he did a good job of distinguishing between true and false churches as well as less pure and more pure churches among those that are true. He had some good words and questions to ask yourself before moving from one true church to another:

• Have I expended all of my opportunities to effect change in this church?
• Will continued participation in this church exert a negative impact on my relationship with and worship of God, my ministry for Jesus Christ, the use of my spiritual gifts, etc.?
• Do I have to compromise too much—essential doctrines and practices, a lifestyle in accordance with biblical values and principles—in order to remain in this church?
• Do I have a legitimate reason for leaving?  In a culture where church-hopping and shopping is the norm, I felt these were timely words for Christians to ask themselves before leaving their church so that we don’t flippantly move on from a place God may want us to persevere in.

Happy Studying

I don't ever remember enjoying waking up at 630AM to study for a midterm. But my notes are just so cute and my breakfast is just so nummy and Jesus is just so good. (:

So I Did Not Quite Make it Home...

Sadface. I know, right? SuperSadFace.

...

So I was supposed to drive home last night to spend a Saturday with my good friend Fresno, but things happen and God knows what's best for us. So I'm here in Lalaland, which isn't so bad considering... Ok, I'm a little disappointed but it won't be long until I'm back in the 'No again. So no worries. I just miss them so much.

Haha but a good thing about Saturdays is that they are usually unplanned and relaxed. I guess it's a good thing that the UC budget cuts forced the libraries to close on Saturday so no more weekend shifts. (:< This Saturday morning I attempted (but somewhat failed) to practice multiple spiritual disciplines. I don't understand why I've been so tired lately. Maybe because I'm sick? But yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is so very weak. The first discipline I'm reading about is solitude. Ooh, sounds emo, huh? Haha don't worry I'm not emo (: But this is what Mark Driscoll has to say about this particular spiritual discipline:

Solitude is fasting from people for a prescribed time to connect with God and replenish the soul. Solitude is not a punishment like that inflicted on prisoners, and it is not intended to be indefinite, as practiced by some extremist monks.

And he goes on to list different instances where Jesus spent time alone for different purposes. It's very cool. I want to find a place somewhere to sit and think with Jesus. It's a very relaxing and enjoyable time for me. I prefer to be in a natural setting because those places remind me of God's awesomeness the most. It's like BAM! beautiful ocean. Or BAM! awesome sun shining through trees. Haha, love it. So very much. So friends...go out or stay in, whatever you please, but just be alone. With Jesus. No distractions. No agenda. He'll be very happy. (:

I Know, Right?

I change the layout and title of this blog like a girl changes clothes. I blame it on my humanity.

But I loved the words God spoke today through Pastor Todd Nighswonger at Cornerstone. As a church we're studying 2 Peter, but reading up on 1 Peter for background info. And as we're brushing up on 1 Peter I'm thinking, "Man, this stuff is forreal forreal." Check it:

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possesion, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. (1 Peter 2:9, emphasis mine)

And right there, in that little sentence, God revealed to me life's purpose in its rawest, most simple and straight-forward form. Beautiful. The Creator of all time and space chose an imperfect person out of darkness into [awesomeness] simply to proclaim how great He is. It's so awesome. And it makes me so excited to fulfill that purpose. Of course I'll tell the world how awesome God is. I mean, do I need to? The universe speaks it itself. But I'll gladly do it. Yadadameans? Gah. I can't get over how awesome that is.

Oh, right. The changing of the name. Well I was frustrated some posts ago, because I couldn't figure out a definite purpose of this blog, other than me curing my boredom for a few minutes. But now it's all simple. This is one of the many ways I can proclaim God's excellencies because I believe His excellencies can be found in art, music, photos, quotes, movies, people, life... He's everywhere. Can't escape it, so why try? Gah. So. Freaking. Awesome. Awesome. So. Awesome.

Ok, I'm done.


Hah, but this is cool too. I'm sure God's in here somewhere, so check it:

Haha. Payce.

Getting Over It

Ew. Sometimes when I read some of my posts I think, "Ugh, save the emo for later." But anyways...

...

So I'm spending some time with the G-man because we just love kickin' it and learning about each other (though it's more of me learning about Him since He knows me inside out already). It's a nice weekday morning before class; I'm reading my bible and what not, and the words He so readily spoke gave me quite a spin.

"For freedom Christ has set [you] free. Stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery." (Gal 5:1)

It's familiar but still the kind of thing that will get you thinking. Perhaps it's the irregular sentence structure and my not being an English guru. Naw. It's the fact that humans, after given something awesome, tend to return to the not-as-awesome something they had before. (See? not an English guru. Please teach me better vocabulary). So I'm thinking...Why. Why do we always go back to the lesser? Why would we, after being set free, put the chains back on and jump back into the jail cell? Ridiculous? I think so.

This train of thought led to another, and somehow God stopped all my mess of thinking and said something that was hard for me to swallow: "Yes, there is also freedom in practicing spiritual disciplines. So practice."

Ugh, really? But I just got out of that because I didn't want to live the legalistic life I was living for you. Buuuuuuutttttt...they call them spiritual so I guess they're good for me right? And by God's grace I unbegrudgingly said,"Ok, let's do this." I think the first part is getting over the association I've carried of spiritual disciplines with disappointment from people. The next part is discipline. Fortunately, I remembered The Resurgence ministries had a series on Spiritual Disciplines so I'm reading up on that to get a better understanding of living a grounded yet free life in Jesus. I'll keep you guys updated so you can see what it looks like. Other than that, join me in prayer?

Payce.

...

"And if you were to let go of the string of the kite, the kite would be free but out of control. It would soar wildly about, fighting the wind in every which way, eventually crashing into a building, a tree, the ground... but if you held on to the string and kept just the right amount of tension, the kite would fly beautifully, in the sky, against the wind..."

Insomnia or Nyctophobia?

My body very much wants to sleep, but the train refuses to stop.

I'm so tired and I wish there was some way I could mentally throw up. But not here, not now, not like this...